A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND LUST; LOVE AND PITY
Love is one among the words that have lost its original meaning in our society today apart from the word sexuality. The confusion which is associated with the meaning of love is what has given rise to lust today. Because we live in an era in which pure friendship between a male and a female that is devoid of intimacy is almost not possible. This has made the thinking of the society to be so corrupt that, once a young man and a young lady or even adults of opposite sex are seen together, the first thought that comes to one’s mind is that they both are being intimate with each other. In order to avoid a pit fall, let us consider what love is.
According to the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, the first definition holds that, Love is a strong feeling of deep affection for somebody or something, especially a member of your family or a friend. The first definition did not carry an erotic meaning but the society has made the second meaning to take the place which overs for the definition of love today.
Lust often pulls a young man at first sight to approach a young lady and tells her how much he loves her and is ready to spend the rest of his life with her. The lady too being confused to distinguish what love is from lust, falls prey to this, few months into their marriage or relationship you find the young man telling the young lady you were a mistake, calling each other a devil and using other rash words at each other. The difficulty in distinguishing this fact has also being one of the factors behind many homes being broken today. Genuine love looks beyond the intimate life of those who are in a relationship, the first letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians chapter 13:4-8 gave the characteristic of love. A lecturer once said to us that in order to know if truly you are living out what true love is, we should insert our names wherever we found love in the verse and see if truly those features are found in us. We should examine ourselves if truly we are kind, patient, if we are not boastful, if we do not hold the wrong of another against he or she.
Often some people also find difficulty in distinguishing between love from pity. You could have pity on someone but confuse it to be love. When this pity dies out, you find out that this person you cared so much for no longer mean anything to the individual because of the failure to recognize what love is from what pity is.
St. Augustine in his confession made a distinction between two types of love; an ordered love (caritas), in which the soul loves created thing in God, and a disordered love (cupiditas or lust), in which the soul craves created things for their own sake. Augustine advised that, the best form of love should be caritas which would love created things not for the sake of the created thing but for the sake of God. It is only when we love in that way we would avoid the deep pain or sorrow we have when we lost a loved one.
We all need to examine ourselves to know what our motive in any relationship is; are we loving for the sake of God or just loving for the sake of being intimate that would be make one love the partner just for a while.
Love and do whatever you will (St. Augustine)
Gundu Martin ~ True2TheLast
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